Tears but no regrets
Life in the pea pod may never be lonely because of my precious pod mate, but it can certainly be tough for both members of the pod—each going through his own trials in separate parts of the world. I knew it would happen, and it did. No matter how much anger I had worked up, no matter how much I know it is the right thing to do, today I am welling up with tears preparing for the forced departure of my seemingly hopeless son who has no food, no prospects, and no place to go (at least I don’t think so). Yeah, yeah, it’s the right thing to do, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I would have a difficult time pushing anyone out in a hopeless state, let alone my precious son whom I love more than my own life. Oh dear God, I did my best. Why does it have to be this way? Why can’t he get his act together? Why must I forever be crying and worrying and praying for just a glimmer of hope that his life will turn the right direction, that he will get help, that he will cease the constant downward spiral. Why?
You did your best, and there comes a time when we have to let go, Crystal. Children, especially grown-up children, have to make up their own paths in life…we can only guide them to a point. I wish your MO well.